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The E R Place Counseling Blog

Waking Up Your Mind

by EnRichment Place Clinicians on 04/11/16

Have you ever driven somewhere that you've gone multiple times and once you arrived you realized that you don't remember anything about the drive itself?You were basically on autopilot and your mind had shut off from all other possibilities.  Many of us suffer with this malady in other situations but don't notice.  We go through our normal daily routines with few variations.  We get up, turn on the coffee pot, get the kids off to their destination or let the dog out.  We go through these steps in the exact same manner as we've always done them and things seldom stray too far from the norm.  As a result, our minds are asleep and not open to new possibilities, different options, or new challenges.  We are in a rut. This rut affects our ability to set and reach new goals.  It inhibits our vision for ourselves and confines our thinking.  We are trapped in our zombie-ish state.  Neither asleep nor fully awake.  

In order to change this dynamic, we would need to shock our system.  A lot like the Ice Bucket challenges a couple of years ago.  They were so popular because it was shocking to see, and participate in, actively having a bucket of ice dumped on your head.  Our minds need a similar wake up call.  For some it could be as simple as doing something you never could have imagined, even if it means doing it alone.  For others it could be having a conversation with someone you wouldn't normally talk to or pursuing a goal you could've never imagined pursuing.  We don't have to skydive or cliff jump in order to wake ourselves up. Just being open to all the amazing possibilities and people around us can be a wake up call all by itself.


by EnRichment Place Clinicians on 01/09/16

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For many individuals that are challenged by depression (notice I didn't say suffer with) it can be difficult to notice the difference between messages sent by your reasonable mind and your depressed mind.  So often I've said that "your depression speaks to you".  It tells you that situations are hopeless or you are worthless.  It maximizes things that would reasonably be far less significant and it minimizes as many of the positives as it can.  Depression tells you that sleep or eating, or not eating, will help you to cope with things.  It tells those who are challenged by it that others do not care or are out to get them.  It will say that those who appear to love us, just don't understand.  Depression speaks boldly and loudly, as if it has a right to do so.  

But, I am declaring today that Depression is a LIAR!  It doesn't want you to know the TRUTH.  Which is that you are valuable, no matter what you've been through.  No Matter What.  The positive things that are said and done in our lives are the things that will renew us and bring us through any situation if we choose to see them. The enemy of Depression is Hope and it doesn't want those that are dealing with it to know that.  So today and every day, every moment necessary, declare Depression the LIAR it is and state that in this moment I will not be challenged by depression but be challenged by hope.  Take it one moment at a time.  Get out of bed, open the blinds in this moment.  Call a friend, read a good book in the next moment.  Meditate and go for a walk in the moment after that.  Let hope tell the truth where depression once lied.


by EnRichment Place Clinicians on 09/24/15

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In days of Old, they built Kingdoms and Empires.  Monuments.  These kingdom's were evidence of progress, prosperity, and measurements of success. In Newer times, we build kingdom's, as well.  Monuments in the form of families, homes, careers and financial success.  We use these things to measure our worth and the worth of others.  Many times the very things on which we've built our kingdom can lead to depression, anxiety and stress.  Not because we have them, but because we base our worth on them.  However, the true worth of a person comes from inside.  A person's true kingdom building starts with how much they've invested in their character, integrity, and personal growth.  True Kingdom Building starts in the heart.


by EnRichment Place Clinicians on 06/22/15

It is true that I've counseled a number of couples regarding finances in their marriage due to the fact that money is so often a sore spot for couples.  I've certainly even agreed with some couples that things would work out best if they kept certain aspects of their finances separate.  But the truth is that this negates the very idea of marital partnership in a sense.  A foundational principle in marriage is trust.  That has become distorted over time and in have pranced ideas such as prenups and separate bank accounts.  However, what happened to the vow that "with all my worldly goods I do endow".

I do understand that not every spouse is fiscally responsible and partners won't always agree to how funds should be allocated.  Sometimes couples are polar opposites in their spending habits.  Money could just be a symbol of other trust issues that exist in the relationship.  That's where speaking with a good financial advisor and seeking the help of marriage therapy can be helpful.  The idea isn't to avoid the issues that test the trust in a marriage, such as money, but to face them head on and seek the needed assistance when necessary. 

Tiwana Bell, LCSW


by EnRichment Place Clinicians on 06/18/15

I had tried to reach my personal goals more times than I could count.  However, things just kept getting in the way.  It would be business concerns that needed my attention, or the kids had a recital or groceries needed to be bought.... always Something.  So finally, I just felt like I should give up.  Maybe I was never meant to run a marathon or learn to flip houses or cruise through Europe.  Hey, you can't have everything.  But then something inside just wouldn't let me give it all up.  I had to finally learn to do three things. 

I first learned to compromise a little.  So instead of a full marathon, I'd start with a 5K run.  Instead of Europe, I'd start with the Caribbean, which was much closer and so I could actually go more often. Next I had to learn that there are some things I can do now and others that will have to wait until I get at least one of my two children in college and moderately self sufficient.  The third thing I had to learn (and the hardest for me) was to ask for help.   When there was an emergency at the office, I needed to rely on my partner more, someone else would have to pick up the kids sometimes and groceries can be ordered (did you know that? a Godsend). 

So I haven't given up, I'm pressing on to the finish line of many of my goals, difficulties withstanding and expect only the best.

Tiwana Bell

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